Science Teacher Rule #20

Students are really fun to mess with


Student: Mrs. Anderson, when are you going to have your baby?

Me: You think I look pregnant? (Incredulous look)

*everyone alternates looks at the girl with looks at my tummy*

Student: (unsure now) um, well, Mr. Simon said you were.

Me: Mr. Simon thinks I'm pregnant??!

Students: um..

Me: Mr. Simon's right. December :)


*chaotic eruption on talking*

*chaotic suggestions of future names*

*chaotic questions on if they'll have a sub*

*chaotic confession that everyone's been talking about it for days, but no one wanted to ask*



*Swearing to secrecy so I can mess with my other hours and have even more fun*


P.S. It's a little lady :)

Science Teacher Rule #33

Junior High kids are in the middle of musical discovery.

They often have great tunes before they hit mass media, and the best stuff that never will hit the radio. And they love any way to express themselves. It told them on the first day how they can bring in music that we can listen to after I preview it for clean content and lyrics. I also mentioned how one of my favorite things is to get a "Mrs. Anderson Mix" from students. In the past I have been introduced to some interesting ukulele music, Swedish pop, and some of my new favorite punk bands.


Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new record.

Within the first 24 hours of teaching and I have already received a personalized mix cd with such eclectic songs as Ch-ch-cha Changes and the lastest American Idol debut.

"I was bored last night so I made you a cd. My mom said I should put Weezer on there too so I did."


It's going to be a good year.

Science Teacher Rule #1

Teaching is hard.


But man, it sure is fun.

Oh what do you do in the summer time, the clean version (with a little nudity)

Where were we?

Oh yes, chronicling the days of my spent summer. I'm not sure this is particularly good for my psyche considering I returned back to work today. I'm not really one to mourn the past, more of a look to the future kind of girl.

Ha.

Well I'd like to be that girl. Someday. Like when I can look into the past and remember what a joy and treasure it was to return to work, enlightening minds, changing the world one perfect student at a time. *sigh* It is just heart warming.

Bleh.

Since today is not that day, we will dive into the nostalgic past that was my awesome summer.

So after the awesome camping on the beach, mooching off everyone else's well-planned and thought out food and camping gear, I returned home to my dear husband. Did I mention I went all these adventures sans mi amour? By this time I really missed him, although the highlight of Cali was sitting on the beach, in my chair, with nothing but my book and the breeze. (I think I may be a closet loner.) (Oh and I had a swim suit. Lest you all think I'm a closet nudist too. But if you are naked when no one else is around, are you still considered a nudist? Wouldn't that make almost everyone a nudist? These are the thoughts that plague me. When I'm alone and nude in a closet.)

(Parts of me wonder if people are actually catching the humor when I write things like that or if they think it's truth. Like those students who honestly believe I'm 45. Or the ones that contrary to logic believed me when I said "I hate kids.")

Anyways. Get home, hug hug kiss kiss sleep sleep clean clean. This is what Maiden Names do in the summer time. We clean. Forget spring cleaning, that's for people who still have to wear a light jacket in March and April. Summer is the time when you have your brood of children as forced labor.

And since forced labor sounds more like something I'll do in December, I did my cleaning solo. For those thinking that cleaning the house should take maybe a day or two, let the enumeration of projects begin.


I hand scrubbed my tile (#25 on the list) I cleaned and cleaned out the fridge (#27) I washed my cabinets (#29) I even put dishware in those cupboards the day they were cleaned, instead of waiting to empty the dishwasher until I had no more cereal bowls left. I was on such a roll that I washed, dried, folded, and put away laundry IN THE SAME DAY! REGULARLY! Oh the luxuries of a teacher's summer!

I rented a machine and cleaned my carpets (#15). Which involved moving all that furniture By My Self. (This is what greeted the missionaries when they came over for dinner that night. I felt no shame in having my guests move the furniture back for me. Oh, and I did my sisters while I had the machine so split the cost.)

I also recaulked the bathtub (#28) All of the products shown were FREE! Thank you bzzagent. P.S. I like the Dove conditioner better than the Aveeno, and I had me some mighty brand loyalty to the colloidal oatmeal company)

I organized/cleaned my studio (#26) Notice the teacup collection is now complete. I shot my dog after she peed on my clean carpet (#21). Well, technically I had someone else do it, to comply with local vaccination requirements. But it really was after she peed on my newly cleaned carpets.

And I had my giant messy mesquite trimmed and ripped out the small one that routinely littered on the neighbors yard. But since I paid to have it done (didn't fancy going on top of my roof to trim the tree even if I had the tools) I felt I shouldn't post a picture.

Actually it's because it would require going outside to take the picture and that means I'd have to put on enough clothes to be presentable.


Unless, of course, I want to make those nudist rumors a reality :)

Oh what do you do in the summer time?

I love when people ask me what I do over the summer. I get a really big smile and say, "Whatever the H*** I want." Of course, I omit the H for some audiences. It is very satisfying and makes me rejoice that I'm a teacher. Because really, during the summer I do whatever I feel like. Even if that includes watching full seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in waaaay too short a period. (It makes for some crazy dreams, in case you find yourself hooked on netflix streaming as well.)

But I know some people really truly want to know how you spend two months of free time, other than proving Twilight was not the beginning of vampire fiction by viewing multiple seasons of Joss Whedon's 90's imagination.

Also, I want documentation that I did cool stuff when I had, you know, money, time, freedom, and flat abs without stretch marks. So here is the 30 things I had written in The Book of Lists. The festivities began shortly after John parted with his sweet and loving appy.

"Things to Summer 2010" (Apparently I didn't have enough brain power to use all the necessary words when I started this list in March)

1) Girls Camp- Way different as a stake leader. Organized the hard hike (5 miles, five hours, 50ft chain to help up one of the cliffs), watched my YCL's totally mess up teaching certification *face palm* (WE PRACTICED THIS! Failure's good for character building though, right?), helped out with all the big events, had my hair braided into a hundred braids, and had about 14 hrs sleep total for the four days. Forgot my camera, and really didn't care because I was happy to be finally done with meetings :)

Get home, shower, go to baptism, repack suitcase, sleep 9 hours, and go on

2) Virginia Road trip- I'm a professional roadtripper. This means that I go on road trips with friends and they buy me tickets to fly home. This is my third time so I officially consider it a side business. I went with my old friend Katie Abbott, who was working there for the summer and had recently returned from her mission. Posing with the Pepe bread in this random little city in Tenessee, complete with small town TN accents.

We drove to Albuquerque the first day and stayed with my buddy Brian. The next day we heard the funniest thing from the GPS, "Get on the I-40 and continue for 1007 miles." And that was just to Memphis. We did find a lovely diner around 12am where I learned the true meaning of bacon. We plugged on Harrisonburg, VA after that. And let me tell you, I used to think that Texas was eternal, Tennesse about killed me it lasted forever. Of course we drive it at a diagonal...

After merry o Virginny, Katie drives me to DC where I spend the next four days hanging out with my old roommate Dantzel and her new roommates whom I have adopted as friends. John and I had visited her last October and did the touristy stuff so this time I spent a day reading in the hammock and trying out the Japanese soaking tub. Oh and checking out the firefly show in the backyard that would rival the Princess and the Frog. The rest of the trip was spent doing things like jet skiing on the Potomac, meeting Okapi while eating at the famous Ben's Chilli Bowl, wandering around Alexandria and seeing a guy play the "glass organ" outside the Old Torpedo Factory, the National Zoo, hitting up Eastern Market and eating delicious crepes while rummaging through the flea market, and going to the concert hosted by the Denmark ambassador featuring Little Red Suitcase, held in a little art gallery on U street. I recommend the Fairfax/DC area for anyone you know who is graduated college and single. The LDS scene there is one happening place full of intelligent, fun, event planning people who all seem to have finished grad school.

After flying home first class, I slept a day, did laundry, and packed again.

This time I drove to the other coast to camp in Carlsbad, CA on the beach. It was a Castillo fam adventure and I again, did not bring my camera. But here's a stolen pic of Alicia and my cousin's daughter to illustrate the perfect beach. To be continued...

Mystery vacation with an undisclosed location

If one were to plan a perfect vacation for me it would include the following

1) A location I don't know until we get there

2) Begin with a stop where Guy Fieri ate that happens to have lots of pandas dressed as Mexican bandits with amazing food combos. Like Jade red chicken, emerald chicken, cuban black beans, and jerk fried rice. Chino Bandito, you have my seal of approval with your Mexican/Chinese/Jamaican food.
3) A drive with super cool rainbows
4) A stay in a world class hotel. One that has our own private cabin by the creek, so that you hear water flowing off your porch. One that only has valet parking. Which sparked the best quote from a valet after we explained how to get past the anti-theft for our car. "That's not too bad. It's the breathalyzers that always get me."

The valets must also put cold bottles of water in all of your cup holders every time, as well as wash your windshield as you are checking out.

And the hotel needs a bell man that takes all of your stuff up to the cabin that has candles lit and music playing (you know, since they radioed in "The Andersons are here" when we first drove onto the property). Then the bell boy should show you all the room perks, like the bathrobes and slippers, (My feet, not the bell boy's)

fireplace and tv, free toiletries with a mending kit and loofah (you know they all came home with me) and an OUTDOOR SHOWER THAT IS AMAZING!

5) There must also be complimentary yoga classes at multiple times throughout the day. As well as fresh scones and hot chocolate each morning. With an astronomy tour on Friday nights.

6) Of course there needs to be a concierge that is friendly and all knowing. So when you ask for a nice diner to eat breakfast at (since the hotel restaurant is $25/person for breakfast), she whips out a map to give us and highlights the route to her top three options.

7) The vacation must also be centered around new and beautiful hiking.

A hike that the concierge suggests, maps to the trail head, AND gives you copies of the trail info from the most popular Sedona hike books.(Rain, not sweat. Well some sweat, but mostly rain)

8) The vacation should also include lots of fun restaurants, fudge, and bakeries as well as significant portions of time to read by the creek and take advantage of the chairs with complimentary water bottles just inviting you to sit. So your vacation is actually relaxing instead of stressful (My picture is on my phone, so I stole the website's)

Needless to say, I have to coolest husband ever, that managed to get this typically $400/night hotel for $130/night AND keep the location a secret for a month. This was more perfect for me than Hawaii darling, thanks for knowing me so well.

New Vocab word

Today's word for the day is:

Gravid

If you already know what it means, you are awesome. If you don't, you should look it up and become awesome.

Stella

Well the G20 is slowly meeting its demise. John has now had three prayer-filled commutes to work and is ready to have a car with working brakes and an engine that doesn't over heat. So in an effort to make room in the garage for a new addition, I'm saying goodbye to Stella. And her brand new battery. She was lovely and so much fun to ride. So now you too can pretend you are Cary Grant in Roman Holiday or Megan Fox in Transformers for the low price of $900 (but if you are a reader of this blog, $800 is what I'm really wanting for it.) Tell everyone you know! Especially that poor college student that can't really afford a car payment. Or the person that could appreciate the gas savings of 80 miles to the gallon. Or the photographer who could use a really fantastic prop. Or someone who rented one in Catalina and had a blast. Or anyone else you could possibly think of!