Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Time Somebody Stole My Dog.

Apparently it is impossible to import my old blog. It is sad. If I can't import all the old posts, I'm just going to set the old blog to private and redesign this blog. It's about time for some color and banner changes anyways. Unfortunately, we're probably looking at Christmas by the time I get around to it. Which is pretty much three weeks for me. Woohoo. You'll just have to bear with me until then. And then I'll get around to all the presents for the commenters. Never fear, I make good on promises.

"The Time Somebody Stole My Dog" or "What is it about a gate with a padlock that says, Please, come into my backyard?"

We live on a golf course. Not one of those little summer home golf trailer deals but our back fence is rod iron pool fence. Perks include rolling grass hills, cooler temperatures, sprinklers that water parts of our dirt, no backyard neighbors, free errant golfballs, a lovely view of the Superstitions, and a chance for my future children to sell golfballs instead of lemonade. Downsides include broken windows, chunks of stucco knocked off the house, lawnmowers at 5am my dog barks at, little privacy, and being the youngest on the block by 40 years.

The majority of our neighbors are retired and it's a fifty fifty chance they are widowed or widowered? Which means they have lots of time on their hands. One set of neighbors heard our dog barking (such a SHOCK! dogs bark?) during the summer and decided that the poor beast must need rescuing from such a terrible fate as a life outside. They came through our gate while we were at work and took the poor dog water. Which she drank. Therefore she must have been neglected because she barked and drank water that was offered. They looked around the yard and didn't find water. In trying to figure out our cool hamster feeder-like water dispenser, they inadvertently turned it off. So they took away our dog's water supply, with good intentions of course.

I was somewhat livid.

1) It is not ok to come onto my property without my permission
2) It is not ok to investigate my backyard
3) It is not ok to turn off my dog's water supply

Regardless if you think I'm satan for keeping a dog outside where she can run around and pee as she pleases. You are welcome to your opinion that a 600 sq ft apartment is a better atmosphere.

We got a lock for the gate.

Now fast forward to last week. We come home from Salt Lake around ten to find this on our back door:

"Hi. Babysitting your dog. Call and I'll bring her back. S---- M------- (555)555-5555"

What. The. Heck.

The number is called and there is a voicemail. I promptly hang up and call my sister for advice. She gets me nice and full of righteous anger. Her husband fed Ada on Saturday night so the dognapping must have occurred Sunday. Her husband also thinks I should buy and gun and call the cops. John and I decide to try and find out who is this S----- M----? Is the nosy next door neighbor who has no respsect for property lines?? I can't remember their names.

Unleash the power of google. We come up a list of the mortgages of our neighbors with names. (They only paid how much?! Man we should have bought this house ten years ago. It's only worth this much now??!! Blast!) We find a Ron something. Wait, that sounds familiar. I think that's the next door neighbor's name.

Then who is S---- M-----?

I call back and leave a message. A slightly angry one. "Hi Miss M----, this is Geevz, the person who's backyard you went into and dog you took without permission. I would like her back now. My number is....."

Then I obsess until morning.

7:00am No message

8:00am No Message

9:00am No Message (Oh no. What if she got out and someone is just taking care of her and now heard my angry message and is pissed and doesn't want to give her back because of spite. I'm an idiot. I should have been nicer. Now I'm never going to see my dog again. And these poor nice people have just been watching her. Oh no oh no oh no)

10:00am No Message (yes I'm checking my phone every hour at school. And telling anyone in ear shot the story. And using this as a teaching moment to make sure my students know it is not ok to just waltz into someone's yard)

10:15am Voicemail!

"blather blather so sorry, misunderstanding, thought she was in need of attention. obviously she's not. My friend thought ramble ramble so I just took her home.Very sorry ramble ramble bring her back by eleven."

Seriously? I bet the nosy neighbors arranged this. Got their friend to take care of the poor neglected dog. Mind your own business people. Call animal control. Or the police. All will tell you that if the dog has food, water, and shade there is nothing you can do. Let alone if she has daily runs, training, and love.

I come home and my dog is back safe and sound. Somewhat subdued, but I'm only partially mollified. I want the whole story.

So I call back.

It wasn't the neighbors. It was the golfers. While looking for a lost ball, they noticed my total and complete lack of landscaping and a sweet little dog with no food in her bowl. So they searched out my house somehow, took the unlocked lock off the gate, and gave her food the next day. The day after they saw that there was still no food in her bowl and knocked on the neighbors' doors to see if anyone lived in the house. No answer so they asked some kids who didn't know. So they assumed the house was abandoned along with the dog and rescued Ada and left a note just in case.

I'm a lot less angry with good-natured golfers than disrespectful neighbors. And I've come to three conclusions:

1)I have to move landscaping up on the list to "NEEDS"
2) Pitbulls are terrible guard dogs
3) Snowbirds have way too much time on their hands

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Thank you for changing your link

This will be prettier in a week. Just suffer through the ugly. Here is a science teacher rule for you all the same:

Sometimes your kids will say some culturally insensitive comments. Sometimes those comments are kind of hilarious.

"The only difference between taco bell and a taco in mexico is diarrhea."

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Not here yet but soon

Congrats! You changed your link! Ahead of time too!

Leave a comment and you'll get a present. Promise.

And the blog will be up in all it's glory and former posts soon.


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