Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Guest Post: Cousin Katie

Today's guest post is my cousin Katie, whom I spent most of my childhood thinking was the epitome of beauty and grace. She talked to me like a real person even though she was 4 years older and one of the Big Kids. Now I know her even better as blog friends. Enjoy!

I've always wanted to be a Mom. I loved kids, and was excited to someday have some of my own. I loved my parents, and looked forward to the day I could be like them. So after my wonderful husband and I had been married for a couple years, I was ready to become a Mom.
But after a year, there was still no baby, no pregnancy. So we went to a fertility doctor and spent another couple of years trying different procedures. Still no baby, still no pregnancy. We then decided to try IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). A couple weeks later came the good news: we were pregnant! A couple weeks after that came more good news: it was twins! And nine months later came the babies we'd been waiting for.
Having our kids the way we did made us realize just how many people have trouble getting pregnant, and we have seen first-hand just how fascinatingtwins are to people. So for those of you who are dealing with fertility issues, or know someone who is, I have put together this list of myths and truths about the process, and about life with twins. (Disclaimer: I know everyone is different, as is every situation. This is just one person's experience, but maybe it will give someone out there hope.)
MYTH: If you can't get pregnant you must be miserable.
TRUTH: I will admit I had my moments, but they were mostly at the beginning when I expected to get pregnant quickly. Once I realized that wasn't going to happen, I prayed hard for patience, and looked for the silver-linings of a no-kids life, and was very blessed. I don't look back on that time as one of sadness. I traveled with my husband, worked at the Temple, enjoyed sleeping in, loved other peoples' kids, and found much to be happy about.
MYTH: The IVF process is horrible.
TRUTH: I cried when I went in for the appointment where they told me what all was involved. But then I decided to just take it one day at a time, and that was a really good choice. Taken all at one glance it really is A LOT, but taken in daily increments it was not that bad. I would have done it again.
MYTH: Twin pregnancies are really hard.
TRUTH: Now, I was lucky, but here is my truth: I wasn't that uncomfortable, even at the end. I never had to go on bed rest. I would say it was an easier pregnancy than my second one with only one baby.
MYTH: Twins always come early.
TRUTH: I was induced at 38 weeks, a week over-due for twins.
MYTH: Twins come C-Section, and are sickly.
TRUTH: I didn't have to have a c-section. Neither of my twins had to have any extra care in the hospital, and haven't been any sicker than any other kids since.
MYTH: Once you have fertility problems, you always will.
TRUTH: After all this, we got pregnant with our third child without any help.
I know we were lucky, and very, very blessed. But so often I hear horror stories about people's experiences with the whole fertility treatment experience, and with IVF in particular, so I really wanted to get another perspective out there. The other wonderful thing about having done IVF was that we had TWINS, which I doubt would have happened otherwise. And I LOVE having twins. Here are some funny truths about twins:
FACT: People will ask you all the time if they are identical. Even if they are boy/girl twins (which ours are). People who are educated and smart will ask you. All the time.
FACT: People will plan your family for you. When people (and by people, I mean strangers) found out my first kids were boy/girl twins they would say all the time, "Oh, lucky you! Now you're done!" And when you get pregnant again, they will ask if this pregnancy was "a surprise".
FACT: Especially when they're tiny, you will get stopped all the time. People will tell you how adorable they are, and you will love it. But plan extra time to get to appointments. Really.
FACT: After the newborn phase, twins are easier than two kids of different ages. Think about it: they're eat the same things, have the same attention span, like to do the same things, and they have a buddy to do it all with!
FACT: Twins are SO MUCH FUN!
I hope our experience might help someone out there. And if anyone wants or needs more information, ask my good cousin for my contact info. I'd be happy to be a listening ear.

P.S. Readers. email me a if you want Katie's info


Erin said...

Amen sista- I mean cousin. I can say that my experience with boy/girl twins was pretty similar. My mother-in-law had a similar issue where it took 7 years to have her first kid then had 3 others without fertility treatments. My twin pregnancy was definitely harder but not as bad as some people with singles I've heard. I was able to make it to 37 weeks with no health problems for either but they did keep my daughter for a couple days just because she was small. I love the same age factor too! Almost everyone who actually has twins loves it- it's everyone else that has a hard time with it!

ACW said...

The identical comment made me laugh. But I'm sure I've asked that question before. Love it.


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