Erin's Prize

Erin requested some big letters for her twins' room as her prize. I decided to try my hand at some wire sculpture.

 Give me an O!

Give me an A!

That stands for Olly and Abby!  But I couldn't decide how to attach the names.

 What do you think? Diagonal, bottom, top, vertical, off to the side? And Erin, you have to send me your contact info so I can get it to you. geevz 65 at gmail dot com

Growing Pains

Me: Husband, I'm going to buy seeds. Anything in particular you'd like me to plant?
Husband: What are you planting?
Me: Tomatoes, squash, cilantro, basil and carrots
Husband: Hmm. Can we have a meat garden?

Def: Cruelty

cru·el·ty  (krl-t)

n. pl. cru·el·ties

1. The quality or condition of being cruel.

2. Something, such as a cruel act or remark, that causes pain or suffering.

3. Law The infliction of physicWhen baby staral or mental distress, especially when considered a determinant in granting a divorce

4. When your baby is finally sleeping through most of the night, but you have consistent insomnia 

5. When you finally fall asleep at 2am only to wake up puking at 4am.

P.S. Nursing is dehydrating on it's own. And even worse when you can't even handle ice chips. And did I mention my baby doesn't take a bottle? Or a pacifier? Or a regular nap? Thankfully my mom took her so my sweetie can give me gatorade while I watch my stomach do a most remarkable twitching that Shakira would be jealous of. 

It made my stomach hurt

This was the funniest thing of the weekend for me. That and I saw a dead javelina in the median. Sad that it amused me eh? Hopefully you like this. It's funnier if you've ever listened to a kid tell a story. Thanks sister for sharing!

Comfortable

Don't knock it 'till you try it.

Lies

I've come to the conclusion that motherhood is 30% awesome and 70% awful. This is an improvement from this morning when I would have been willing to tattoo a 10%-90% ratio on top of my still bright purple stretch marks. But after a nice long walk I've come to the 30% conclusion. And considering J peed all over my brand new shirt during this walk, I feel it is fairly generous that I didn't drop it to 5%. Although, since I bought the shirt that fit my lovehandles and the giant rack, it isn't very cute. They don't make shirts that do that and look cute. Well they might, but they probably require wearing something other than a sports bra and let's just admit to the fact that anything else is not worth the gymnastics required when I feed baby girl every 60 heartbeats.

So I didn't really mind that she peed on it. And regurgitated a pint of sour smelling, half digested milk on it too. 

And for all of you who have kept telling me "it gets better" for the past 3 months, I have a word for you.



Lies. Absolute lies.  At least until I see some sort of proof.

It has just gotten steadily worse in these last two weeks. She gave me just enough consecutive hours of sleep consistently to make me think I hadn't destroyed my favorite life pursuits. Then she snatched the dreams (both literal and figurative) away from me. It may be due to what appears to be chiclets emerging on the roof of J's mouth. Which brings to mind another mathematical relationship:






Now I almost didn't type all this because I'm sure I'll be inundated with yet more advise or good-natured offers of help. But I figured I should post it anyways to balance all the pretty happy posts I make about my life. And to forewarn any who might have forgotten that babies are terrible. When they aren't sleeping at least. They're kinda cute when they are sleeping.

Now I just keep telling myself that it could be worse. I could still be pregnant with one leg a 1/2 inch shorter than the other because my hips are so off (not an exaggeration. Ask the chiropractor. I've been seeing him more than some members of my family).

Or even worse.

I could be pregnant again.

Aloha

I have a cousin who is a master at finding cool things in the valley to take her kids to. So in an effort to be more like my fbi agent transracial adopting cousin, we met up at Tempe's aloha festival on Saturday. I highly recommend it.

Target diapers are not worth the savings

But at least j has the comedic timing to do it when I'm out visiting a friend.