Friday, February 5, 2010

Science Teacher Rule # 77 update

After the previous conversation, I voiced my dismay to my first hour. It was something along the lines of, "A student asked if I was pregnant last week."

Bubbly happy girl speaking super fast: Was it Pauly? Because in the middle of math he asked Ms. Smith if you were pregnant and Ms. Smith said she didn't know and even if she did know she wouldn't tell him.

Me: Seriously? In the middle of math?

Bubbly happy girl still speaking fast: So you're really not pregnant? Because me and Natalie thought it was totally true and we were going to make you this super cute scrapbook for you to put pictures in and a baby blanket. We were even going to make you a quillow Mrs. Anderson. A quillow. You're really not pregnant?

Me: No.

Bubbly happy girl now crushed: But we were so excited.

Me: Well you can still make all that stuff for my future spawn and I will e-mail you someday if I choose to procreate.

Conversation about when I will have kids, do I hate kids, why wouldn't you want kids, none of your business, let's get back to work etc.

Nice girl in back: Just don't wait until your forty or anything because that's just gross.

Me: Nah I'm not going to do that

Student that legitimately believed I was 43 like I tell all my students I am until she told the band teacher (my BFF) who straight up told her I wasn't: HA! LIAR ! YOU ARE NOT FORTY THREE!

Me: dang it.

The next period

Me: For the record Pauly, I'm not pregnant.

Pauly: stands up See Jake I told you! You owe me five bucks!

By my estimation, there were about 80 kids convinced I was pregnant and another 40 who were indignant on my behalf that people thought someone as thin as I am was pregnant. And another 20 totally apathetic.


shamers said...

you totally hate kids. that's obvious by your career choice.

Marilyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marilyn said...

Geeves! I'm so glad I stumbled onto your blog! This post is hilarious! Kristy Stapley and I just started an online boutique. Check it out!

Jessica said...
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Anonymous said...

Bahaha your students are...ummm...special.
I'm ashamed that someone with my name gave into such blasphemy. I apologize on her behalf.


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