I like the dentist, clean lines, change, absurdity, and the moment right before an airplane hits the ground. I've been an athletic trainer and a jr high science teacher, now I get to be a mom and fitness instructor. Welcome to the latest adventure
Did you know that keys can break off inside car doors? My husband does. Fortunately super sharp tweezers are part of the superhero utility belt. But it is still incredibly important to have a sidekick with a spare key.
After "some unit of time I used to understand and keep track of before I became a sleep deprived milk cow" I went somewhere without Baby J.
I didn't use my massage giftcard that I have been saving since last Valentine's day, I figure it will be better experience after I can hug another person without my boobs making me cringe.
I didn't use my pedicure Christmas present, even though the candy cane pattern I managed to paint despite my big belly is quite grown out.
No, I used my little freedom to go grocery shopping and my big sis came with.
Lack of sleep and unrestricted calories= grocery shopping with abandon. I have never filled a grocery cart so full. Normally I don't buy store bought cookies, but TWO packs of oreos made it in. And those striped shortbread cookies? I needed those too. Oh, Cambell's in on sale for fifty cents? I need 12. And bean two? Oh well I've been meaning to work on that year supply.
Remember when I posted about baby gear and how there is always something a mom will swear by? I found J's.
When my aunt and uncle gave me this overly generous present, what they really gave me was much, much better. They gave me showers without a soundtrack of crying. They gave me two hands to make dinner. They gave my husband that much more downtime. And my absolute favorite present?
They gave me three hour blocks of sleep without without my baby touching me.
*update: 5hrs last night! And i didn't realize hiw much more restorative sleep is when you don't have your "don't crush the baby" sense going.
Well-meaning people love to ask that question and for those who haven't recently seen the fruits of copulation, they always seem surprised when I say no. Then they just don't know what to do so they wander off awkwardly after saying sorry.
Those who have had a child more recently understand that newborns are kinda terrible. And depending on the day, very terrible. Husband never knew what to say because he didn't know what made a good baby. I know what makes a good baby.
A good baby actually burps.
A good baby eats without fighting it for ten minutes (thankfully that only lasted the first two weeks. My madre thinks little baby mouths and muscles get as sore as mama boobies. I think that makes sense)
A good baby sleeps for longer periods at night than during the day.
A good baby sleeps for more than 45 minute intervals.
A good baby takes a pacifier (debatable, but I think it would be nice if it pleased her consistently)
A good baby falls asleep without being held.
A good baby will sleep in her crib.
That last one is a particular bother. My awesome cousin lent me this sleep book and when she put it in my hands she looked me in the eye and said, "This is the most true book after the Book of Mormon." I really like the book so far because the pediatrician is a sleep researcher and has all these fun studies that let me nerd out while giving sleep solutions that fit with my beliefs and personality.
In it he talks about the benefits and drawbacks of the family bed, also known as co-sleeping. When I read that pregnant, I thought it was ridiculous. Who would want their baby to sleep next to them? And like the book says, along with every other piece of paper you get from the hospital and all the parenting books, that baby can suffocate. The baby can get rolled on and die. You can't cuddle with your hubby. And how are you supposed to sleep?
It's amazing what convictions you lose when your baby is out like a light in your arms, then instantly pops open her little eyes the INSTANT her head touches the crib, buzzy chair, floor, couch, pillow, carseat....
So despite the literature and my own misgivings, I confess to the world that I let J sleep with us. I know many cultures outside of the U.S. do it, maybe even a higher majority. I know it isn't the safest. I also know that she sleeps two hours plus this way. She hasn't died yet even though this is Something I Would Never Do.
Somehow, I have this sinking feeling this is only the first of many ideals sacrificed in the name of preserving my sanity.
One more fun thing about being pregnant is losing the strength of your "hold your pee in" muscles. They call this stress incontinence.
I bet you can guess where this is going.
It wasn't me.
We were at my brother's house this evening for the Maiden Name's Sunday waffle tradition when my sister was holding Baby J. She let out some pretty killer pants-filling farts and my sissy offered to change her. I asked her opinion whether or not my little peanut was getting some diaper rash. The verdict was that she may have the start of some. Sister said, "I'll just let her air out a bit. I'm not afraid of pee or poo. Between my daughter, the dog, and the new puppy I'm covered in it anyways." So she put the little receiving blanket underneath J's naked bottom and played with her on her lap.
Little did she know that my little peanut has quite the bladder, and one far larger than a peanut.
"ACK! She's peeing! Ah it's everywhere! Quick get me a towel! It's soaking through the blanket and getting on me!"
I'm chuckling while running to grab a blanket and then I fall to the floor laughing hysterically because then I hear my sister yell,